"It'll weed out those who are doing it for the $$"

Ever wonder about the way civilians view foster care?

I learned today that the California budget is about to implode and foster children are going to feel the crunch. Specifically, it looks as if the reimbursements to FFA families will be cut by 5%, and those checks will be delayed by two months.

I mentioned this to a friend and she made the comment above. ("It'll weed out those who are doing it for the $$.") Is she kidding? Right, because all along my plan was to get rich doing foster care.

It's not hard to see where this is going to lead. Some families won't be able to take that kind of a hit to their household budget and some children will be looking at yet another move within the system.

Personally, I'm okay here. I bought my house when prices were reasonable, and the interest on my mortgage is low. My ride is paid off with about 30,000 miles on the odometer. I have a good job, health insurance and a retirement plan. This isn't my first recession so I know what's coming. Other families are less well-prepared and they will opt out, that's the reality.

insert profanity here, part 2

Well, the victim witness advocate was right to be concerned. Sure enough the defense attorney in the criminal case has been relieved of all her cases and someone new has to be brought up to speed. Apparently the new attorney assures the court he can be ready in five weeks. As if.

support from helpful people

Social workers tend to not like hearing that foster parents are seeking de facto status. This situation is so messed up though that when the social worker in the originating county learned (through me) that I was planning to file the paperwork I got nothing but love.

It's not rocket science to see that this child is so stressed she's about to explode. She throws up at school (tells me she's thinking about the upcoming criminal trial) at least once a week. She comes in to my room to sleep on my floor at night because she feels "safe" there. She's falling so far behind in school she's stalled since September. She can't participate in the afterschool tutoring program because her afterschool time is already fully booked with various therapy appointments. She has no friends, and no time to spend with them even if she did.

The next time the court makes what I feel is an unreasonable request of her (and there have been many) I want to be able to explain why that will be a problem for her. I think it's time for the court to fish or cut bait.

insert profanity here

This day just keeps getting better and better.

I got a call today from the victim-witness advocate about the criminal proceedings. Once again there is a delay in the trial because of the defense attorney. She's been sick since January 3rd and today she apparently e-mailed the other parties saying her mother had a stroke. I'm starting to believe this trial will never get started, and apparently I'm not the only one. The victim-witness advocate shared her concern that she thinks the attorney is about to bail. That would mean another long delay while a new attorney is brought up to speed.

And in the family court matter I get the sense that the parents' attorneys have only one remaining strategy, which is to simply drag this case out indefinitely by applying for continuance after continuance. Right now it's working.

de facto parent status

Last week I tracked down the contact information for the youngster's attorney. I was told by the youngster's social worker that this person could (and would) help me file for de facto parent status. I waited all weekend to make the call and learned this morning that she's out of the office until the end of the month. Grrrrrr!

There are some seriously wrong decisions being made right now and as a mere "foster parent" I am not a part of the decision making process, and am viewed by the court as an unpaid babysitter. Given that the youngster has been here for over a year, and that I'm the one who suffers when she suffers I think it's time to apply for more rights. Being awarded de facto parent means I become a party to the family court proceedings, and then can address the court to effect positive change in the decision-making process. It is clear to me that the court has no concept of what it's doing to the youngster and her voice needs to be heard (through me) in the court.

No, and I don't care

Those are her favorite things to say. Apparently she is not able to say them in a pleasant, respectful tone either.

Me - Are you planning to be dressed when you go to school?

Her - No.

Me - If you're planning to watch TV this afternoon you will need to be dressed when you leave for school.

Her - No, I'm not getting dressed and I don't care.

Great. Basically you can insert any question in here and the answer remains constant. For the record I guarantee she plans to watch TV this afternoon, and I guarantee there will be a meltdown when she learns (once again) that I mean what I say. And, once again I will unplug the TV while she's at school so that when she ever-so-sneakily tries to turn it on while she thinks I'm not looking she'll be met with an unhappy surprise. I love that part actually, because what's she going to do then? Complain because the TV doesn't work, you know, the one she doesn't have permission to watch anyway?

Aaaarrrrgh! I sure hope this day turns around before nightfall.

court, court and (you guessed it) more court

The termination of parental rights was originally supposed to take place in May of 2007. Here it is January 2008 and we're still waiting for resolution. I found out purely by accident that the youngster was required to attend court on Wednesday and speak with the judge about her feelings. Given that we've both been under telephone standby subpoena to testify in a criminal case since October the prospect of facing another judge was received poorly.

After waiting for some time in the hallway outside of court, we learned it was all for naught and that the judge wouldn't be hearing from the youngster (or her siblings, who were also present), and that the case has been continued again until February. Additionally, the court decided to grant (and pay for) the parents requested sibling bonding assessment. If that can't be scheduled within a certain period of time there will be yet another continuance.

As for the criminal proceedings, the defense attorney has been out sick since the first part of January. (Hey, if I had to defend the guy I'd be sick too.) As far as I know the case is supposed to begin on Tuesday. If everything goes as planned we should get a call in about ten days to come in and give testimony.

Behavior has been a problem. I think the youngster's favorite word is "no." I so don't love oppositional defiance disorder, and mixing that with reactive attachment disorder just sucks.

So, while we've gone from having six appointments at baseline to five (yay!) we also have two pending court cases, she's overdue for foll0w-up with her orthopedic surgeon, three months behind on her dental exam (because she has these lovely dissociative episodes in any medical or dental setting), I just received a huge package of paperwork from state adoptions to fill out, and I need to schedule a physical exam for me...all within the next 30 days.