Friday, March 28, 2008
TPR
The road to TPR is a bumpy one. Almost 16 months after the youngster arrived here, and almost three years in foster care (this time) the court ruled for termination of parental rights yesterday. While I think it's the right decision and I'm certainly eager to move forward with adoption, I don't think we're out of the woods yet. I fully expect that her father will file an appeal and drag this part out for at least another year. The prospect of at least another year of this limbo is disheartening.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
plea bargain
The criminal case that's been rescheduled again and again since last fall is finally concluded, and without the youngster having to testify. They guy was offered, and accepted a plea bargain. The sentence stinks but ultimately the youngster gets what she needs from the court system. She was heard, she was believed, and the guy goes to prison. He will take a strike, and have to register as a sex offender. It might be that is the best we can hope for.
Monday, March 3, 2008
bait and switch
The youngster has been making great strides with her behavioral therapist. She hasn't assaulted me in months, and she's in general doing better in school. That means that the funding switched because she met the initial goals. With the change of funding came a new "parent partner." I'm just going to say he sucks.
The initial parent partner was great. We had great communication and I felt I could call on her for feedback and support (which is what she said she was here for). Then came the new guy. The first thing he told me was that he does things differently than his colleague, but never said what he meant by that. It soon became clear to me that what he meant was that he was not hands-on. In fact, he said he didn't want to communicate by e-mail (why not just ask me to cut off my arm?). Then the only times he was available for meetings or phone calls were times that I wasn't. Then he disappeared, and frankly I forgot he existed. I figured as long as the youngster still had the same behavioral therapist we were good.
Well, that's what I thought until last week when I learned through a fourth person that he was unhappy with me. Might have been good if he had contacted me to tell me that before involving two other people. Then I contacted the managing social worker (out of county, and AWOL for weeks at a time) who characterized me as uncooperative and not committed to the process. What? I sent her an e-mail response telling her I object to the characterization, then forwarded the e-mail exchange to my FFA social worker who tells me she will see what the heck is going on.
Apparently the "parent partner" is complaining that I'm simply not available at a time that's convenient for him, so I'm uncooperative. I wouldn't give a rip except that he could terminate services that the youngster needs. As to being unavailable, I work full time, maintain the house, get the youngster to and from school, prepare her meals, get her up in the morning and off to bed at night. Did I mention we still have five appointments every week? In the last week and a half we've had two trips to the emergency room, one doctor visit, and one doctor visit tomorrow. I'm almost a year behind in replacing my broken eyeglasses, more than a year behind in my annual physical, and I haven't had two hours of quality downtime in over six months. Let's not forget the two pending court cases either.
The county social worker suggests that we all just have a sit-down meeting where everyone can define their roles. When would I have time for that?
The initial parent partner was great. We had great communication and I felt I could call on her for feedback and support (which is what she said she was here for). Then came the new guy. The first thing he told me was that he does things differently than his colleague, but never said what he meant by that. It soon became clear to me that what he meant was that he was not hands-on. In fact, he said he didn't want to communicate by e-mail (why not just ask me to cut off my arm?). Then the only times he was available for meetings or phone calls were times that I wasn't. Then he disappeared, and frankly I forgot he existed. I figured as long as the youngster still had the same behavioral therapist we were good.
Well, that's what I thought until last week when I learned through a fourth person that he was unhappy with me. Might have been good if he had contacted me to tell me that before involving two other people. Then I contacted the managing social worker (out of county, and AWOL for weeks at a time) who characterized me as uncooperative and not committed to the process. What? I sent her an e-mail response telling her I object to the characterization, then forwarded the e-mail exchange to my FFA social worker who tells me she will see what the heck is going on.
Apparently the "parent partner" is complaining that I'm simply not available at a time that's convenient for him, so I'm uncooperative. I wouldn't give a rip except that he could terminate services that the youngster needs. As to being unavailable, I work full time, maintain the house, get the youngster to and from school, prepare her meals, get her up in the morning and off to bed at night. Did I mention we still have five appointments every week? In the last week and a half we've had two trips to the emergency room, one doctor visit, and one doctor visit tomorrow. I'm almost a year behind in replacing my broken eyeglasses, more than a year behind in my annual physical, and I haven't had two hours of quality downtime in over six months. Let's not forget the two pending court cases either.
The county social worker suggests that we all just have a sit-down meeting where everyone can define their roles. When would I have time for that?
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